My Old-School Ways to Keep A Happy Married Life

Having almost three jobs to fulfill--my daytime job which is co-managing the family business, my own entreprenurial adventures, and my online jobs, I sometimes wonder where to get the energy to at least keep in touch with the marriage department. I often feel guilty that most of the time it has to take the back seat to make way to some as equally important concerns. In hard times like this, with the word "recession" always heard in the news and read in the papers, one cannot deny the fact that money is much harder to earn now a days so one has to strive harder than the usual. Unfortunately, I am not an Ayala or an Ortigas to take things just as lightly, and my husband is not a Sy or a Gokongwei either. My hubby is earning enough for the two of us, most of the time earning more than enough when he gets bonuses and the like, but with a baby coming up, my being a segurista cannot help but panic and worry on where to get moolah for the future of this baby.

But married life definitely has not to suffer. For I believe that you can have all the money in the world, but if you have a failed marriage and a lonely life, you simply still do not have it all. My marriage is still my topmost priority, no matter what. And i know some days i tend to neglect it, but most of the time i nurture it as a baby. It does not have to be as stressfull, for there are simple ways to keep a happily married life. These are old-school ways, you may say, but still very powerful in keeping the marriage happier and stronger.


1. I am polite.
I believe that most people, especially those who are married for like ten, twenty years, tend to forget to be polite. I, up to this date, never fail to say "thank you" or "please" to my hubby. And i even say "sorry" if needed. No matter how small it is, I never failed to be polite to him. And I couple it with some sweetness and tenderness, making it really sincere and truthfull to hear. My husband, in return, does the same and sometimes even more. He still opens the door for me, goes to the danger side when we are crossing the street and pulls out the chair for me. They may seem so traditional, but being polite shows that the respect is still there and we both care how the other feels.

2. I do not end the day angry.
I believe that time is gold. Okay, it's a cliche. But going to bed angry just eats up a lot of precious time that could be spent to some other valuable and quality bonding. I finish my work at around 8pm, and my husband finishes around that time too. Imagine the measly time left for us to be together and talk about how the day was. Time left for us is too short, too short to even argue over things, and worst, go to bed angry at each other. So what I do, I finish any argument as fast as I could, just sticking to the issue. It's faster that way. If there is no way we can really wrap it up and finish it, we would agree to sleep it over first and talk it over the following day, without setting an angry mood. It also helps in clearing the mind, making us more relaxed when we proceed with the talking.

3. There are My Love Letters.
In this world full of high tech communication, who still writes love letters? I do! Yes, i do and I am proud of it. The letters I write are small notes just to remind him how happy I am that he is my husband, that I am such a lucky wife to have him. It's often a surprise note for him, often found in places he never expects. Like a letter sticking in the television set, for the first thing he does when he wakes up is to turn on the TV. Something like that. Or letter of reminders, like the one i stick in the dash shield reminding him to drive safely on his way to work. Just like last month when he went to Hongkong, I put love notes in different pockets of his travelling bag, making him find one note everyday. He enjoyed it, it was like a hunt. And his anticipation offinding a new note each day made him miss me more. Yes, text messages still reign, but writing love letters is still the best to assure someone how we deeply love them.

4. I compliment him.
Saying "you look cute on your new haircut" makes him feel secured and confident, but really, there is a deeper meaning to giving a compliment. Compliments show that you are in tune with your spouse, that he has your 100 percent attention. For you cannot give a SINCERE compliment if you do not know everything going on with him, like a new haircut for example. It means that you always notice him, that you are always connected to him. But of course pumping up his confidence is a major plus point, making him not want to get compliment from someone else.

5. I hold his hands.
Whether in private or in public, i never fail to seek for his hand and hold it. It may be in the mall, or simply when he's driving. Even when we are sleeping. It makes me feel secured, and it fully expresses our affection to each other.





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The Office Spouses --- Gateway to Extramarital Affair?

I have been hearing a lot about this office spouse relationship. I never thought there actually exists such a relationship in the workplace, since for one, I know that having a relationship outside the marriage is simply called having an affair. Period. Nothing more, nothing less. But, why is there a growing population of this so called relationship? And is it not a gateway to putting an end to your marriage?

An office spouse is someone you are constantly with in the workplace. He's there for lunch and coffee breaks. He knows your emotional needs in the office specially when the boss requires an overtime or worse, reprimands your work. He's there to celebrate with you when you meet the requirement, reach the quota and get a promotion. He's always there for you through thick and thin, very much like a spouse. But it only lasts for eight working hours, since after that, you both go back to your respective partners. Or do you really?


Is this something we really need in the workplace? Sure, we cannot avoid the fact that we do work closely every single working day with someone of the opposite sex. And sure, we cannot share the happiness, frustrations, rejections, concerns regarding work, specially in an instant, to that someone we are legally committed to because of different and far working background and experiences. But the affection, the security, the confidence we need, do we really have to get it from an office spouse?

This kind of relationship, no matter how platonic they claim it is, is surely a gateway extramarital affair. Most of the time, since you are together, you develop this honesty and openness, and these can lead to some conversations that matter outside even outside work. And this only means you can talk freely about anything, even your personal matters. You know someone from the office cares about you so you just pour your heart out with problems regarding your husband. It could also be that your office spouse knows some things, interesting things, about you that your husband does not know. It could be that you now can enjoy your french fries dipped in coke that your husband really hates, since the office spouse is there to join you with your craziness because he likes it to. You may now be comparing him with your husband. And you may now be confident enough to know that even without your spouse, there is someone in work that will take his place. And most of the time, the other is very much willing to be discreet about it too.


So can this be avoided? Surely if you want to. First off, if support in the workplace is what you really need, I strongly believe that you can get it from your workmates of the same sex. Okay, let's include the opposite sex here, but you can be in groups. No exclusively, one-on-one, lunch hours for you and the opposite sex. Always be in group to be on the safe side. Or if you feel like talking with someone because you are frustrated, why not call your spouse instead? Talk to him and tell him what's happening. He may not get the full details, of course, since he is not working with you, but I know he's there to listen and to give you some cheers. Or if you really cannot avoid to having a close connection with the opposite sex, maybe because all the girls are occupied or having their own office spouses as well, then try your best to remain it as it is and is supposed to be--platonic. Do not go the extra mile.

















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Baby Kicks

I am 22 weeks pregnant to date. By this time, I can already feel our little boy's prominent kicks. I have already established his kicking patterns. He is active most of my lunch breaks so it is also an opportunity for us to listen to his classical music since I very well know that he is aware and listening. Everytime I will put the speakers to my tummy, I would feel his movements. As if he's very excited and making some martial art kicks inside. He is also very active at night, specially at around 10:00. So this is another round for our classical music. Too bad the baby is shying away from his dad. For some reason, everytime his daddy would feel him, he won't move. And if his daddy puts his hand away, he moves again. Naught boy indeed!





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My Business --- Fragrances

Like any modern pinay wife, I also need to earn extra moolah aside from what I am earning from work for my personal use and to also help the hubby on the finances. So I decided to start a business, partnered with our entrepreneur-friend. Our products are fragrances made affordable for everyday use. Our fragrances are manufactured locally but the raw materials are sourced from France and Switzerland that is why each and every fragrance we offer guarantees to have a lasting scent. So far, everything is doing good, and I am loving the buyers' feedback I am getting. At first, buyers are buying just for their personal use but eventually they come back to purchase more, to find out that they are also reselling the fragrances!! It's good to know that I also get to help other people earn from my products. I came up with different dealers' packages so they can choose what package to suit their budget. They can start reselling these products and it does not require them to have much capital. And the buyers and resellers are growing and growing, I am so loving it!





Website: http://www.scentssymphony.multiply.com/

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Simple Ways We Keep Our Fire Burning

My husband has a very hectic schedule. Often times he would be out of the house so early in the morning to catch his morning meeting and goes home really late still with unfinished work, thus bringing his pending work in the house. I pity him sometimes but he's such a lover of his work that I feel I am the mistress and his job is his wife. But I appreciate the simple ways he makes up with me. A lot of times he is the one thinking on how we can spend our time together even if he has some work to do. And I love to reciprocate as well. The things that bond us together need not require huge amount of precious time. As the cliche goes, quality time is much better than quantity time. So what are the simple ways that bond us together and keep the fire alive? Here are some:

1. We wake up earlier than usual. If we have to be out of the bed at 6:00 am, we set the alarm at 5:20 am. The leeway time would be for cuddling and exchanging small talks. We will just be in bed, lazily enganging into hugs and embraces and others in between *wink*.

2. We make time to text or call each other in between work. Most of the time I am the one initiating this since my job is more flexible than his. So every lunch time, I never fail to text him and check on him, ask him what he would be having for lunch. Depending on his load of work, he replies and check on me in return. But I understand if he's too busy to do that since his work is unpredictable. But everytime he finds the time, he texts back, no matter how late it is to reply, or even call me through my landline phone. It's nice to hear from each other so to also break the monotonous of work.

3. We try our best to go home together and have dinner together. After work, I go straight to the mall where he could pick me up, even if it means I have to wait for like two hours for him to arrive. We do our best to go home together since our travel time is another opportunity for us to bond and check on whatever happened for the day. This is a best time since both of us are relaxed already and prepping up to end the day.

4. We always touch each other. Literally, that is. If he's reading the dailies, I will sit next to him and read my book or surf through the laptop, me constantly touching *caressing* his arm or his nape or his legs. Or if we are watching the TV, we would hold hands. Or I give him a massage.

5. We have an activity together. We jog around the UP campus every Sunday morning. *But I am now pregnant so I have to stop it. He still jog anyways.*

6. Discover new places during our free day. It is always nice to explore a new something--restaurant, mall, spa, whatever, with my hubby. I would rather discover it with him that with any other companion.

7. We have our own separate interests. We also have our individual likes and that is important. While he is so fond of current events and politics, I am so fond of lighter stuff like music, surfing the internet or movies. It balances both of us. He always have something new to share to me, and I have something to share in return. These contradictions always serve as a topic starter, and we always have something to talk about. We learn from each other too.

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